I live in a mountain town, where white tailed deer are a common sight. While they don’t frequent our neighborhood much in summer months as food is plentiful for them in other less populated places, I did spot a mother and her 2 fawns a month ago when I was driving up the street approaching our driveway. 

I delight in seeing deer, especially a mother with young ones. Their presence calmed my mind and I immediately noticed the weight of my feet supported by the floor of the car. 

I slowed and turned off the lights so as not to scare them, but I was too late. They took off running across the street and down the sidewalk tails waving like flags in the air.

When I came into the kitchen, I turned off the lights and quietly slid open our glass door and saw them across the street, wary but calmer than just a moment before. I suspected if I left them alone they would eventually come back to our neighbors yard to resume eating crab apples.

In just a matter of seconds the deer expressed both the flight response and then subsequent rest and digest. It’s remarkable to me how quickly a body that was in flight can resume a calm state, whereas my own body seems to take longer.

My nervous system is not unusual. Stored energy that wasn’t released in previous threatening situations can cause a hiccup in the stress response cycle. Typically once the stressor is gone, the cycle in the body can complete and the body resumes calmness and ease again. But in certain bodies the stress response cycle doesn’t recover or doesn’t recover as quickly. 

For my body, nothing shows this hiccup more quickly than being in a situation with multiple eyes on me.

I’m not sure what previous events occurred (nor does it really matter when doing work in the body) to cause the interruption. But almost every time I can feel the flow of energy halted. Because I’m curious and committed to self inquiry, and because of the lack of resolution I keep leaning in.

I am in a choir that sings at bedside for people who are dying. We rehearse every week to practice original songs. Singing harmony a cappella is new for me and I still find it challenging. I’ve been there 2.5 years and the feeling in my body that I don’t belong is abating more and more.

But when I hit a sour note, the energetic charge of shame and tightness still rises. Hot tingly energy rushes to my face and tightness squeezes my throat and chest. Despite the discomfort, the alarm is lessening. My practice is to be in relationship with it, allow it to slow down, and then I experience more softness and ease.

At rehearsals, when I feel this energy rising, I find someone I trust to make eye contact with. Or I sit knee to knee or elbow to elbow. Then, I notice how the resulting softness in my chest becomes a resource. 

This is the work I do, I help myself and others find the way to calmness. People like me who have signs of disruption in their stress response cycles navigate through performance anxiety, imposter syndrome, difficulty setting boundaries and other seemingly impossible behavioral issues begin to find ease again in their bodies.

The process of being in care of is simple and involves listening with a different kind of awareness to what our bodies are telling us. It involves slowing down and getting curious about what else is here in addition to the constriction, and it requires courage to see how our bodies are in fact looking out for us even when we feel disconnected from them.

If you’re curious about practices that might help you on your journey, reach out. I work 1:1, in webinars in group workshops.

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Last Saturday my husband and I woke up and looked at each other with slight apprehension.  “What do we do?” we ask each other.  We get up and slowly make our way down the hall. He grabs the cat, I splash water on my face in the bathroom. We meet in the kitchen.

“I don’t know,” I say. “I agree,” he says. We look at each other and try to smile.

I slowly walk back down the hall and stare at my reflection in the mirror.  I find my phone and play an artist I like. Kirtan music isn’t something I heard until about a year ago, but it is now my go to when I’m feeling unsettled. And unsettled is definitely how I am feeling this morning.

If we go we’ll likely feel bad. At least I will. If we go we don’t know what will be open. It could be that restaurants, museums, even movie theaters will close.  If we go we will feel even more out of sorts than we already do.  If we go, or pets are uncomfortable, missing us in the way they do.

“Let’s not go.” I say. “OK,” he says.

“We’re still going to feel awful if we stay,” he says. “I know”, I respond.  And just like that we cancel our 20th anniversary travel plans to Phoenix.

I know you’re navigating your world just like we are. There’s some comfort in that for me that we are all doing this together somehow. There’s more comfort in the kindness I’ve noticed on the emails I get from the Next Door app. I see offers from neighbors to grab supplies, food, prescriptions, watch kids, walk dogs for whoever is need. We are all in need. But I don’t know if anyone takes up the offers. I hope they do.

I feel tension in my belly – our daughter flew out the day before our questions became bigger than our certainty. She is still with my brother and his family. They are grateful she is there. They also feel a sense of responsibility that you do when you aren’t certain what will happen, or how decisions by community and state leaders will be made and you’re in charge of a kid that isn’t yours. I bet it isn’t very comfortable for them.

They are still enjoying each other’s company. “Uncle Mark is photo bombing” was the last text my kid sent before bed last night. “Your daughter has been amazing. Gabby is just thrilled she’s here.”

And so it goes. The little decisions that suddenly carry unmeasurable weight. Do I go to the gym? “I’ll be careful,” I rationalize. “I’ll wash my hands and come home, and won’t spread anything or get sick.” I never went.

I need to go to the grocery store. But everything item I bring home either needs to be sanitized, or quarantined. I decide not to do either.

I have to go out again today for vitamins because we don’t know what stores are closing – is a supplement shop inessential? To me it isn’t, but I suspect to authorities who are watching over us it might be.

I text a neighbor whose husband is immune compromised “Do you need anything while I am out”? I still feel slightly irresponsible that I am going. But I go anyway and pick up stuff for us that we need, including a canister of sea salt caramels that simply make me feel good. I get a bunch of stuff for my friend – but not everything she wanted because they are out of potatoes and some cheeses, and whole chickens, and eggs. 

Before all this insanity started, my husband’s company has been working on a HIPPA compliant communication app for Dr’s, EMT’s, nurses that is being used in a bunch of places. But now they are offering their relatively expensive and complicated product to hospitals, emergency clinics, care providers (and even patients to use their video conferencing portion) at no charge. I am floored. It is so thoughtful and generous.  And potentially life changing for millions of people.

Without having to think I offer my voice acting services to them at no charge. The decision feels solid and right and the unsettling that has been sitting in my abdomen since Saturday is gone when I let it sink in. I breathe in deeply and exhale.

They have six videos that they put together quickly and I don’t know if they’ll wind up using my voice on any of these videos, but I hope they do. I hope I can help them in this way. I hope I can focus on what I can do versus what I cannot.

I spoke with the producer a little while ago and she’s not sure they’ll patch any of the new recordings of my voice into the existing ones, which makes sense. Sometimes good enough is better than better. I’m good with that.

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What’s interesting about voice over for me is how we communicate ideas and stories.  So much of what we communicate both recorded and live conversation is not even based on what we say – but techniques we use to say it. How we use our bodies, where we place sound in our mouths,  and what we do with our faces while we speak can change the sound of our read – and or our conversation – dramatically.

Let me share a story.  About 2 weeks ago, during a toastmasters speech I wanted to illustrate how adding a simple smile can change the tone of an outgoing voice message to sound warmer and friendlier.  I asked the audience to close their eyes and listen to me read the message two times.

The first time I read the message in a friendly manner – and I intentionally frowned. The second time I read it, I smiled.  Then I asked the audience which they preferred. Everyone said they liked the second read.  Everyone but 2 people.  That threw me.  Then I realized what happened.

Even though I WAS smiling during the second read – it was TOO much of a smile.  I exaggerated it to make my point – and in so doing – slid right past it.  The 2 people noticed that while it indeed sounded warmer, it also sounded fake.  Because it was.

Then I remembered something that happened to me recently when a colleague mentioned really liking my outgoing message.  I changed it.  Because I am sometimes my own worst critic, and I got caught up in the details that DON’T matter – the copy – I inadvertently changed the tone. Even my daughter noticed. “Why do you sound so fake?” She asked.  The same colleague asked me a day or so later “You changed your message. Why?”

I was determined to fix it.  That afternoon I went back into my voicemail settings and this time I followed my dog around for a short moment until she made me laugh.  I quickly hit “play” and said whatever came to my mind – not worrying about the details this time but more about the tone.  It worked.

Try it the next time you leave a voicemail message for a friend, colleague or even family member.  And if you need a little help getting an authentic smile – watch a funny youtube video first to get your smiling muscles warmed up. Then watch how a simple action like a real smile can change the tone of your voice, magically.

The post A Simple Trick to Be More Authentic appeared first on Kath Crumrine.

This is an unregulated industry – you make it or break it on your own – as they say. I think there are a lot of people who never figure it out, because it can be challenging to find your way. And if you’re determined – YOU will. At some point you have to decide whether to go for it. Then make a blood promise with yourself that you won’t quit – even when it gets hard. It will. All good things that make a difference come at a price.

That said, there are all sorts of folks who would love to make money off you that won’t be invested in your success. But there are good folks out there too – who are interested in helping you. Be prepared to pay for coaching and services. There are some freebies – but you have to pick and choose who to trust.

There’s no RIGHT way to start. At some point you must be able to produce broadcast quality audio for clients if you wish to have a prayer. This includes having a space to record in that is somewhat predictable in terms of noise or lack thereof. You need a decent mic, a DAW, audio/digital converter, and some skills in editing sound files.

You’d be smart to find a good coach that you like and trust. Who isn’t cheap both in terms of what she/he charges as well as the advice they give – to help you figure out some genres you could be good at and that you like.

You probably shouldn’t quit your day job – yet. Wait until you have some consistent work first. And then make sure it is consistent. Six months is a good start.

Connect with a community. Facebook – LinkedIn – down the street at your fav bar or coffee shop. It helps to know other folks in the industry who are succeeding and those who are starting out. I am facilitating 3 other newbies right now – and you’re welcome to join the party. We meet via zoom about once every 3 weeks.

That’s it for now.

Let me know if I can help in any other way.

You can practice anywhere. There are loads of online copy you can use. Record yourself. Listen. Tweak. Then listen to it again after 3+ hours and see what you need to change. Keep practicing.

Listen to what you like. Why do you like it? What works about it. Find something you don’t like. Why don’t you like it? What doesn’t work about it? See if you can record yourself doing both examples. Now try it with an accent. Or a different emotion. Listen 3+ hours later. What is working. What isn’t?

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